Studio Blog (August, 2009)

At one time or another, all of us have heard that when we “feel the fear and do it anyway,” we make some pretty significant discoveries about ourselves. Well, here’s a story around that topic . . .

First, a little background.

1. When I was 18, mowing the lawn at my dad’s house on a nice late summer day, I ran over a nest of bees in the ground and got stung by 17 bees. It was a painful experience and it really freaked me out.

2. In college, I got stung on my arm by a yellowjacket outside a fraternity house and my forearm nearly doubled in size. I declared to myself at that point, “I’m allergic to bees.” No one ever told me that, by the way. I guess I just declared it for added drama.

3. Every time I mow the lawn (up until last weekend — I’ll explain in a minute), I stop the mower in its path if there’s a bee in front of me and wait for it to move (for both fear and insect welfare reasons).

4. Last Saturday, Candice and I were listening to an audiobook about business planning and the author shared a story about how he overcame his fear of sharks. He also asks the listeners to consider their greatest fears because overcoming them usually leads to success in many areas of life. You can probably guess what one of my biggest fears has been since 18 years of age.

5. One more tidbit. At dinner with my family on that same Saturday night, there was an extended conversation about bees, their disappearance in China, and beekeeping.

OK, you’re up to date now.

On Sunday, I went mountain biking — something I do almost every weekend when the weather permits. The trail, West Branch in Ravenna, has some pretty gnarly sections in which we ride over huge boulders and/or tree roots for extended periods of time.

It takes quite a bit of focus and strength, but it’s really fun. It’s actually spiritual for me and my riding partners because we need to be completely in the present moment (see last week’s blog about presence entitled “Feel Better Now”). It’s good to be present in order to stay on the bike and to improve one’s riding skills.

We rode all out for about two hours and we were coming to the end of the trail. The end of this trail has an 8-inch wide balance beam/bridge structure made out of trees which are cut in half. The narrow bridge is about 150 feet long, so we’re all pretty excited when we make it to the end!

Well, we made it across the beam and we were going home because the trail was nearly completed. But, when I went off the end of the tree bridge and landed on some logs that were on the ground, I was suddenly covered with bees that began stinging me. Naturally, I began swatting them and yelling for my riding partner, but the bees kept following me even though I started riding pretty quickly.

We rode to the end of the trail with great urgency and some of the bees followed me all the way to the parking lot. I think I was stung about nine times. What an experience!

Here’s the thing.

Obviously, it didn’t feel good, but the odd thing is that the pain was much less intense than I would have ever predicted. Suddenly, I felt a strange calm come over me because I realized at that moment that my fear of bees was irrational and that I had been building it up for 20 years.

No swelling, no allergic reaction, easy breathing. In fact, some fellow mountain bikers that were aware of what was taking place were freaking out a little bit, saying things like, “the first 20 minutes is when anaphylactic shock kicks in, the skin will be covered with red spots, etc.” Even as they presented me with this worriesome information, I felt cool and collected.

It wasn’t until I got into the car that I reviewed the events of the previous day (points 4 and 5 listed above). I was amazed. How many other things do I fear in that way that hold me back from living with total freedom? It was very liberating for me.

Now, the guy from the audiobook that I discussed chose to overcome his fears by jumping into a tank of sharks. I definitely was not planning to confront my bee fear. But it happened anyway and I am thankful because I let go of a part of myself that was really limiting.

We all have opportunities on a daily basis to do things that feel “uncomfortable” that might ultimately help us. I’m not telling you to go drive down some dark, country road with your lights off. I’m talking about the kind of things that are keeping you from doing, being and having what you want.

I feel like I have a new resolve to approach my fears with this experience over the weekend because the bee phobia was huge for me. So, go ahead and try something you’ve always wanted to do but were too afraid, or honestly tell someone how you feel, or just follow your bliss. It probably won’t sting as badly as you imagine when you decide to do it.

As readers of this weekly blog already know, I like to share ideas that have helped me to be more creative, calm, happy, enthusiastic, joyful and powerfully centered in the present moment. I share them with the hope that readers may find inspiration for themselves.

We all know that being in the present is the most powerful way to live. It’s more powerful than mourning the past, feeling regret or fearing the future. Being in the present doesn’t mean that you don’t have fond memories or make plans, it’s just that this moment is the only moment you’ll ever experience. So, I’m always looking for ways to make it better.

I’ve learned a lot of great techniques from a variety of books, videos, audio programs and people who are living life to their highest potential. I’m certain that this study played a huge role in a major realization that occurred to me last week. This insight may seem incredibly simple when I reveal it…and it is. But, this powerful realization allows me to “Feel Better Now.” That phrase has become my new reality.

Here it is.

Every day, all of us have things to do that fall under the category of chopping wood and carrying water. That’s an old term for daily chores and requirements that relate to our survival. The survival tasks have evolved over the years, but that term nicely illustrates the errands of the day. You know, I’m talking about washing dishes, driving the kids to music lessons, yard work, working at a job you don’t love, sorting through the mail, etc.

Well, I rarely enjoy chopping wood and carrying water because I always want to be doing “something else.” I have a list of items each day that I desire to do — all of us do.

So, you see, if I’m always wanting to be somewhere else while I’m cleaning cat litter, I start to become impatient. When I’m not accepting or enjoying the moment, I lose creative power (or happiness, or peace, or joy). It almost sounds silly to talk about it even as I write.

But here’s what happened last Tuesday. I had a long list of things to do that day and the grass was long. There was a threat of rain for the next day, so I figured it would be better to cut it now before it got wet and longer. I made a decision to cut the lawn and to try some of the techniques I’ve learned while engaged in the yard work.

As I mowed, I began to notice and appreciate the beauty of the blooms in our flower bed. I appreciated that our lawn looked so green. I kept reaching for things to appreciate in the present moment and even began to say some positive mantras in my head while I walked back and forth with each newly cut row. Thoughts about people I love popped into my head, excitement about the summer weather came up and a general swell of positivity came over me. I was totally in the present as the positive momentum gathered…all this while cutting lawn (i.e. choppin wood).

It gets better.

The yard work felt like it took three minutes (actually, it was timeless). I couldn’t believe I was done. As I put away the tools and the mower, a new idea for a creative project flashed into my head from out of the blue. I was really excited! After I put away the tools, instead of rushing inside to take care of my next item on the “to do” list, I went back to the front yard and just observed it. It seemed to look better than ever and I felt really peaceful.

I’ve read probably 1,000 times or more that the way to live your best life is to be in the now — when you eat, just eat, when you walk, just walk. Intellectually, it has always made a lot of sense. To add to that, I’ve never had a problem staying in the present when relaxing on the beach in Hawai’i or skiing down a mountain. Yet, out of the 365 days in each year, how many days am I in that situation?

Think about it…every day, you’re likely engaged in chopping wood and carrying water. Rather than seeing these activities as obstacles, they become your opportunity to transform, grow and experience life in a new way.

Think about the implications here. Instead of being resentful that you have to wash the dishes, try using that time as a vehicle to increase the power of your focus. By focusing on the present moment, you get better at being in the present. You also get better at focus. Focus brings more effective results to your life.

Rather than scattering your thoughts and attention to everything that enters your mind or your immediate environment, you begin to take control of the direction of your life. Rather than needing external stimuli like television to give you a rest from your thoughts, you get better at directing your thoughts.

This is what we teach when we show people how to practice piano. Never mind that you didn’t practice yesterday, focus on what you can do right at this moment to improve the piece, to enjoy the sound of the instrument, to be here now. Students are always amazed at what they can achieve when they have 45 minutes of undivided attention devoted to the task at hand, practicing their piece.

Oh, another thing . . .

My first student of the day came in one hour after I finished mowing the lawn and said, “Wow, you’re yard looks beautiful. It looks like it could be in a magazine.” I thought that was pretty cool and it added even more positive energy to a day that was continuing to feel good. My positively oriented presence began having ripple effects throughout my day and even to other people.

That’s one way to “Feel Better Now.” Feel free to write to me if you have ways to be in the present. I love hearing about them from other people. You can even post a comment on the blog so others can read your ideas. Thanks!

Candice and I went sailing on Sunday with some friends. One of our friends recently purchased a 35 foot boat, and he kindly invited us aboard. I’d never been on a sailboat of that size, so I didn’t know what to expect.

Very cool experience. Got some nice photos (see below) and the group had a great time. It’s amazing how being out on the water transports you to another time, place and feeling.

So, you know that I talk a lot about focus, staying in the present and training your mind to think about what you want, right? I relish having opportunities to put mental techniques into practice.

I had a great (and totally unexpected) opportunity to try some focus techniques on the boat.

You see, everything was great…feeling good, loving the breeze, watching the waves (which were rollin’ pretty high with the wind at almost 20 knots) and all that good stuff. Then, I had to go to the bathroom.

A conversation about seasickness had just taken place. The main concept that came out of that conversation for me was to avoid going into the galley area below the deck when you feel nauseous.

I felt fine, so I didn’t think twice about my decision to go down into the gut of the boat to relieve myself. I went down there and did my thing, feeling pretty proud about my aim and balance (the boat was really rocking back and forth, so it was a challenge).

As soon as I reached the deck outside, my equilibrium was thrown. Suddenly, I felt like I might hurl. I thought to myself, “alright, here’s an opportunity to find a mental technique to balance myself once again. I was fine before, I’ll be fine again.”

Well, I tried a number of things, but I kept coming back to thoughts about when we were going to turn around or how far away the shoreline was. I couldn’t stop thinking, “I was okay before, why do I feel like this now and how long is this gonna last?” In other words, as I kept myself thinking outside of the present moment, I wasn’t okay.

Then, a funny thing happened. We had to turn around and our ship’s captain had to go to the front to tie up the sail. So, he handed over the steering wheel to someone else.

From the front of the boat, our captain (funny to refer to my friend in that way) instructed us to turn on the motor. The motor came on but it wasn’t engaged, so we were kind of sitting there with no momentum in the wind and waves.

Next thing I know, the boat “heeled” (boating term for “tipped”) to the point in which the side of the boat was inches from the water line. There was a general sense of panic for what must have been two seconds.

I started to laugh because that combination of adrenaline and intense present moment focus eliminated my nausea immediately. The rest of the trip was totally cool. Next time, we’re bringing ginger ale..

Here are some images . . .

Alright, all of us have experienced those times when we get a song stuck in our head, right?

Well, when Candice and I go to Hawai’i, we do this thing where we constantly sing “Mahalo.” Mahalo is the word for thank you in Hawaiian. Because we hear the word a lot while we’re there, we constantly think of the song. I guess I made it up the first time we visited the islands.

Well, this time we decided to take our song to another level by adding drums, bass and guitar. In fact, we decided that we may add a new page to our music site that includes these fun little ditties.

Just press play and enjoy . . .